At times it can feel like when you are angry, an immediate response is required. However, more often than not, this is an ineffective method to display anger and get your thoughts across in a clear and concise way. It can be helpful to engage in self-talk, to remind yourself that you and only you have the power to make you feel angry. External events are something external to you, until you decide to internally react to them.
Next time you feel anger and want to lash out, try Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.’s two-step alternative to neutralize anger in seconds. Try these or modify them to make strategies work best for you instead of abandoning your better judgement and giving in to the temptation of anger.
- Relax - Cool yourself down by taking deep breaths, yoga, meditation, visualization or whatever other method that works for you. At this time if you don’t have a way to calm yourself down, this would be a good time to find one that feels most appropriate for you
- Reassess - Look at the anger provoking situation from another perspective. By exploring alternative ways of perceiving what provoked you will find a more level headed assessment of what triggered your anger
By employing the above techniques, you allow time to pass between the initial feelings of anger and your reaction. This significantly reduces the intensity of your anger to allow you to respond in a level headed manner. A reminder that you can’t control what others do around you but you are in control of your thoughts and feelings.
Contact Safe and Sound Therapeutics for different tools to help manage your anger.
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